Ionia Free Fair (Spinning Teacups!)

This weekend I took kiddos to the fair.  We started out by stopping at the 4H booth to consume some hard-earned ice cream, Z's reward for doing a good job helping out in the 4H food booth last week.  Watching the kids eating their ice cream reminded me that I had only a bowl of cereal for breakfast, nothing for lunch, and I worked out in the yard in the morning trimming the hedges (no electric trimmers for me either) in the 90 degree heat.  I was starving.  Amidst the ice cream, candy, and carbonated beverages on the menu, the words "chili dog" jumped out at me.  That's what I need I thought.. a quick chili dog fix I can down before the kids finish their ice cream, and a little sustenance should keep me from passing out in this heat.  I just had one of them, because they're not very good for you, right?

We leave the warmth of the 4H dining area for the oppressive heat of the midway.  I drop $60 at the ticket booth for three all-the-rides-you-can-handle wristbands for the kids.  We get a nearby kiddie ride out of the way and then walk past the Spinning Teacups ride.

"Daddy!  Daddy!  Daddy!  I want to go on that ride!"

"No, you don't want to ride that one.. it spins you around and then you can't walk straight."

"I know!  I like that!"  [huge smile]

"Ok, well, that's the ride for you then.  Step right up there.."

E and her little friend walk up the steps and, after deciding between the yellow and the purple cups, take their seats (yellow won today).  I'm standing there watching them, thinking how glad I am that these two little girls are big enough to go ride that all by themselves, when I notice the ride attendant motioning for me to come closer.

"Come on, dad, you can ride too" he says.

"Ha, that's quite alright.."

"Come on.."

"No really, I don't have a wristband and I really don't.."

"You have to.."

"..don't like these spinnning rides.. huh?  I have to?"

"You have to ride too.  The girls are too small.  You have to ride with them."

I look over to see my darling 4 yr old daughter laughing and conversing with her friend, on top of the world.  I can't imagine telling them they have to get off, so I get on.

I am such an idiot.  What was I thinking?!  Spinning Teacups!  Spinning!  The ride starts and we begin rotating.  This isn't so bad, I think to myself.  It sure is hot.  We really get going though and I begin to realize that this really wasn't such a good idea after all.  I'd very much like to get off now, but we've just begun.

Try to focus on something stationary.. maybe something in the distance, but all I can see are the other rides, which are moving, and kids gathering to watch me turn shades of green (maybe I imagined that).  Everything is moving.  I look up, but the clouds are moving too.  Ok.. nothing stationary.. I'll just close my eyes and wait for it to be over.  I'll think of something else to take my mind off the spinning sensations.

Eyes closed, my thoughts drift to the beach, walking in the sand, the blue sky.. space above.. and then space travel, and then astronaut training of all things.  I think they put you in something and spin you around to see how you'll hold up, to see if you'll make a mess in your space suit if things get gnarly.  That would make me really sick.... eewwww.. that's not helping.

The girls are still merilly chatting away, oblivious to the discomfort I am feeling.  "Mommie fixed my hair in a pony tail this morning, but sometimes I wear two pony tails.  I like my fingernails and toenails painted.  Ooo.. look at that big ride over there!  I like roller coasters but Z doesn't.  Daddy, can we go on that ride next?"

They're asking me questions and I'm responding as if I'm having the time of my life.  Little do they know I have a lump in my stomach that feels like it's trying to migrate upward.  Oh no!  The Chili Dog!

A hot day.. chili dog on an empty stomach.. extreme spinning motions.. I'm done for.  The attendant must have taken a break because this ride has been going for half an hour I'm sure.. it just won't stop.  I am keenly aware of the distinct possibility that the chili dog will make a reappearance in the very near future if this spinning continues much longer.

This is the part of the story where I know at least two of you (Megan, Lana) are reading ahead for the part where I puke.  Right?  I have you pegged, huh?  Fortunately for the girls, the attendant, and all the loitering kids in the debris-hazard zone around the ride, the spinning did stop and the chili dog stayed put.  Of course the girls wanted to ride it again, but I was skillfully able to direct their attention to other midway amusements with slower rotations.

Note to self:  spinning, extreme heat, and chili dogs are not a good combination.

Comments

[lana]

"reading ahead for the part where I puke"... nah, i knew you wouldn't, that would be too good to be true!

[Megan]

Your right, I was waiting to read the part where you blew chunks on all the unsespecting kids- Darn, it would have been good!!

[Scott]

I knew it!

Lana, meet Megan. Megan, say hello to Lana. You two will get along just swell I think.